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He had an enormous double bed with a duvet and one whole wall was mirrors. I saw myself in the mirror and my confidence evaporated. I was horrified, I think I panicked. I suppose it was all the tension of the build-up releasing. I’d never been in a position like this. Here I was waiting for a man to come to me. A man who I knew was going to make love to me, probably like never before. I had to be right for him and all I could see was this plain girl with tiny tits and a big bum. I was devastated. Gone were all thoughts of playing the vamp. My lack of courage nearly caused me to get dressed and run away. Luckily I got hold of myself and decided to cut my losses as it were and hide under the duvet! I climbed into bed and pulled the duvet up under my chin completely covering myself. Softly I called his name. I was suddenly terrified. What would he think. I felt young and inexperienced, almost as if I was a virgin and had never been with a man (I suppose I hadn’t really, only boys!).. " (Jim -Sissy Beauty Salon, Part 3)That is what I said and that is what I mean.___________________________I had just asked Annie what she was going to have done at the Salon andwhat I should have done to me. I was really interested in her answer. Iam not sure whether my need for an answer was because of dread,anticipation, anxiety, wishfulness, or simple curiosity.Over the course of the past year, my feelings about Annie's new foundsexual pleasures had evolved in a complex manner.At first the newness and the strangeness of being asked (and thencommanded) to become more and more feminine had only stirred me assomeone who was sharing a sexual (albeit somewhat unorthodox) game withsomeone I loved. But as the months passed, I found myself intrigued as towhat new adventure in girlishness Annie could concoct for me. I foundmyself even looking forward to those times when Annie would deliberatelycause me humiliation and shame. Humiliation and shame experienced as aman, the same situations.
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